Purple Sadness

It is the sadness of the unseen

and the colour of eggplant.

Purple sadness looks different on everyone.

It smothers secret dreams,

until they can longer breathe.

Purple sadness is not the sadness of being left, 

it is the sadness of being forgotten.

Sometimes

I am not sure
how I got here,
this place where fear spills from my heart.
Unearthing the ground
…rewriting the stories
buried long ago.

Trust

I never thought a dog
with such soulful eyes
could eat you alive.
I was wrong.
They can,
and he did.

Travel Lightly

Your glass was always full
with all the wrong things.
It seemed you could
only ever live your life that way.
…standing on the edge.

Stay warm now.
I will miss you
as only your sister can.
If you had stayed
perhaps you would be laughing now,
knowing that life is really
just made up, from all the things that fall at our feet…

The Truth

Longing and hope lie together
in the space where she lives.
Some days…
she lets them loose……..

I Knew

She wanted the ocean to wash over her.
She wanted it to take her apart,
She wanted it to tear her into tiny pieces,
so that her body
felt like her heart…
misaligned and frayed.

Dear Wounds…

Dear Wounds

You were my most intimate relationship, so it is not surprising that every now and then I see things and feel things that remind me of you. We were friends you and I – like an old sock and an old shoe. It was a long time ago. I remember you protected me, as only wounds can. Eventually I realised that whilst you were the perfect place to hide…with great stealth you stole from me all my primary colours. That is what wounds do over time.

I still recall the day I let you go. You were my constant where none had ever been before. Today I wear you as my invisible tattoo… a reminder of the past, of the pain and also of the healing that has taken place.
You have made me stronger, softer and more willing to be a relentless advocate for all that is good in this world. All that is good in my world. You have also taught me to accept life and the challenges it throws me.

Today I feel like I could fly and my world, though far from perfect makes me smile. It is filled with amazing people and delicious moments. So I thank you for the gift of helping me to grow and the gift of learning that scars only form while we are living. My only desire is to live a life where I die being forgiven and forgiving.

I want you to know I remember you fondly. Whilst you and I both know suffering beyond words, long ago I moved on to a better place – a place I can’t be pulled back from.

There is no going back since I opened the door to feel the earth and the wind…

Avec la paix
Lisa Fro x

It’s late…

The faintest scent of you remains.
I wrap it carefully in the blankets of my heart,
as if it might break.
I think it could if I was careless,
but I am not.

 

Quiet desperation

As Thoreau said “most of us live lives of quiet desperation”  the fact is, we must each strive to find our own voice. It seems the longer we wait to begin the less likely we are to find it at all. We all have a great need for acceptance but we must also trust our own beliefs even if the the crowd is going in another direction. Sometimes we need to swim against the tide to make it to our shore. 

I have discovered that I need to remind myself to constantly look at things a different way, because life can be a battle and the casualties may well be our hearts – our souls…

It takes a magic grasp

There are people on this earth who move just a little but they never really look.  They allow the surface of things to mislead them. They carefully fold up their pasts into shapes that suit them better.

It can be hard enough to tell the truth without turning our memories into something factitious and brittle. I only know that things outlive us and it takes a magic grasp to believe and endure.

Where the Moon Meets the Morning

It’s late…very late…or perhaps it is very early? Depends on which way you look at it I guess. Most things are like that. Anyway it’s 3.36am and the moon and the morning are soon to meet. I like being a distant part of that. I find comfort sitting in this space between yesterday and tomorrow.

The truth is, that these wee hours are my Everest, this is my mountaintop, this is the time I reconcile all the incongruence and absurdity of life… suddenly everything big appears small and I realise it is the small things that are big. It is a wonderful gift, this ability to zoom out and holistically view my world and the people in it. This is how I remind myself that although life can be hard, it can also be incredibly soft and somehow I always manage to be grateful and laugh a lot.

Yet it still saddens me that this world is filled with wounded people unable to pull the arrows from their own hearts. It is hard to describe, but some days I just ache with longing to ease their suffering. But I have also come to understand that we must each let go of our own dead skin, we must each choose to let it fall. There is no other way to let the dark out and the light in…

We humans are all a little cracked and broken in some way, but we must try not to let our wounds limit our capacity to love big. For there is no other way to love. It is easy to let our past define us – to let our past become our story. We can always rewrite a new ending because we always have a choice, even if it is not to choose. Indecision is a decision.

So here I am sitting under my fading moon…choosing to smile with gratitude for this moment. I discovered long ago, that we don’t become happy because we are free, there is only one freedom of any importance and that is freedom of the mind.

The reality is that like all of us, my life is hard, my life is soft, but my life is also filled with amazing people that I have loved, will love and do love!
Right now, exactly as my life is…  this moment is perfectly enough. x

Kindred spirits

We have
the same hiding place
you and I.
Where we dwell
in anonymity
and find comfort
in the introspection
of our aloneness.

 

Let go

Become a lover of what is – when we let go of the illusion…we are what is left

Avec la paix

X

No long goodbyes

Hope…
you became so heavy
that the weight of you
broke my wings.
Never again
will you take up space
in my heart.

I can feel

You have the softest hands
but hearts are fragile things…

The morning rush

They gather
hurtling forwards,
hunched and worn
by the weight of life.

They find safety
in numbers and solace
in their own lack of intention.

I am lost among them.
Everything is going in
nothing is coming out…

Before I knew

The blessing of heartbreak
crept upon me
like darkness.

It delved into my skin
so deeply
I could hear
the hushed whispers
of my soul
…it felt good.

Quietude

There is something so soothing about being alone in our aloneness.

To sit upon a mountain, almost touching the sky with the air against your skin.

– skin tells such powerful stories…

Outgrowing the past

Like a cloudburst
I already know
that you
will tangle your heart
with mine.

My lips will
taste sweet
as they drink in
the unease
from your bones.

Uncomfortably numb

There is only pain,
perhaps her love was too big,
or his love was too small.